below is an exhortation written and delivered by Evangeline Abella. Enjoy reading! :)
February
24, 2012
About
H&P Night – a special event every year. *Though this year, we don’t
have any of the trappings nahotel venue,ug ang surprise surprise, or dressing
up, but the heart of doing the H&P Night, which is to celebrate ourbeing
sons & daughters of the King of Kings, and to encourage each one as
brothers & sisters in the Lord, kato jud ang important.
« Message from Wild at Heart&Captivating – *Last
year, when I left Dumaguete, kaninga event jud ang pinakaganahan nako balikan
diri, and my desire was stronger after I’ve read the [books]. Sobra jud ko na-inspire and I had the idea na gamiton ni sa
H&P Night. So start pa lang ng February, nag-ingon na ko sa mga student
leaders diri na I am inviting them to invite me na mag-speak. And God, in His
wisdom & goodness, granted the desire of my heart. I’m really blessed karon
to be able to share to you a part of the message of these [books] that talks
about
how God wonderfully made each of us unique and glorious in our femininity &
masculinity, and how we will be able to live fully as men & women, as God
has promised. Knowing our identity in our Creator will open up our eyes jud
kung unsa atong purpose diri on earth and will move us to fulfil His Greatest
Commandment [which is?](found Mark 12:28-34,
vv.30-31&33
30Love the Lord your God with all your
heart, with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength… 31…Love your neighbour as yourself. (actually this is repeated many times in our Bible, from the OT to
NT.) and let me also read
to you the verse in John 13:34-35
34A new commandment I give you: Love one
another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are
our disciples.
As
children of God, we are identified by the way we love. Ang atong
goal jud as fellow Heroes & Princesses, as brothers & sisters in the
Lord is to love each other with [the kind
of love that was defined on the cross], not the way that the world
loves. Jesus told us in John 15:13– (start
ta sa 12)
My
command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one
than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
~of
course, dili ta tanan pagmakamatay para sa mga tawo nga tapad ninyo karon, the
point is that SELFLESS ang atong pag-love, just how Jesus loved us enough to
sacrifice himself for us. Siya man jud ang atong example pirmi. So how will we
able to do that? First we must find out kung kinsa jud ang atong brothers &
sisters in the Lord, how God created us, each of us differently. I’ll quote one
of my fave lines from a monologue “TO BE
KNOWN IS TO BE LOVED AND TO
BE LOVED IS TO BE KNOWN.” ..and salamat sa wisdom & inspiration
na gihatag ng Ginoo kay John & Stasi
Eldredge, through what they have written sa ilang books, [we’ll discover and unveil the secrets of a man and woman’s soul]…so that
we will really KNOW our brothers & sisters, and find out how we will be
able to LOVE them as Jesus commanded us. « DISCLAIMER: But wait… I-klaro ra nato ha, and since
malapit na rin ang atong TLW Seminar, it’s important nakaron as we are still
young, ang atong main concern is to learn how to love each other as BROTHERS
& SISTERS (all caps with exclamation point!) in
Christ, dili as potential boyfriend & girlfriend. From what I’ve learned,
mas maayo jud nga training for marriage ang relationships with the opposite sex
as friends, as brothers & sisters in the Lord, kaysa sa romantic
relationships. As we learn to love our fellow children of God, without agendas
of our own, without asking for reciprocation or exclusivity, the more we will
become able to love SELFLESSLY - when the
right
time and the right person comes - our FMs. So remember ha, ang application sa
atong matun-an karon is platonic dili romantic, as friends dili lovers,
‘philia’ dili ‘eros’, kaibigan not ka-ibigan. Okie? I don’t think I can be more
clearer. So let’s move on…
*separate
seats ang HEROES & PRINCESSES*
I. Made in
God’s Image
Let’s look
back sa story of Creation. We know that within 6 days God created the world and
everything in it. If you’d really read that story in the first chapters of
Genesis carefully, makit-an nato that the way God designed the world in a way
na each stage of creation is better than the one before. The story goes that in
the beginning there was nothing – formless and empty, until God called into
existence light and darkness, land and sea, earth and sky… then he puts in the
details: the plants, trees and flowers to adorn the earth; the sun, moon and
stars to fill the sky. Then he goes into more intricate and amazing creations:
animals of every kind, shape, colors… *Stasi Eldredge described it
beautifully,
basahonnako from the book so that we will really be able to picture it out… p.25
**and notice
– the masterpiece is becoming more intricate, more intimate. He fills the night
sky with a thousand million stars, and he names
them, sets them in constellations. Into our world God opens his
hand and the animals spring forth. Myriads of birds, in every shape and size
and song, take wing – hawks, herons, pelicans. All the creatures of the sea
leap into it – whales, dolphins, fish of a thousand colors and designs. Horses,
gazelles, buffalo thunder across the plains, running like the wind. It is more
astonishing than we could possibly imagine. From water and stone, to pomegranate
and rose, to leopard and nightingale, creation ascends
in beauty. The plot is thickening; the symphony is building and
swelling, higher and higher to a crescendo… The greatest of all masterpieces is
emerging. What was once formless and empty is now overflowing with life and
color and sound and movement in a thousand variations. Most importantly, notice
each creature is more intricate
and noble and mysterious than the last. A cricket is amazing, but it cannot
compare to a wild horse. Then something truly astonishing takes place. God sets
his own image on the earth. He creates a being like himself. He creates a
son.*** (Captivating – Chapter Two: What Eve Alone Can Tell, p.25)
…Then ADAM is created. God really gets down to business, unlike all the
other things that He created by just calling them into being, he formed Adam
from dust and he breathed into him. ADAM steps forth, the TRIUMPH OF GOD’S WORK.
He alone is pronounced the son of God, no other creation even comes close. God
looked at what He has done and exclaims it is VERY good. But
wait, there’s more! (janjararan…) The story
wasn’t finish… Si God, the Maestro of Creation na jud ang nakapansin, something
is not good, not right… something is missing. And that is EVE. You might have
thought napahabol ra si Eve, just an afterthought. But no, EVE actually is the
crescendo, the final astonishing work of God. The creation comes to a finish,
is made complete with Eve. (*Let me read from the book
again
kaychadajudang wording diri… p.26)
***She is the
crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish,
creation comes to a finish with Eve. She is the
Master’s finishing touch. Eve is… breathtaking. Given the way creation unfolds,
how it builds to ever higher and higher works of art, can there be any doubt that
Eve is the crown of creation? Not an afterthought. Not a nice addition like an
ornament on a tree. She is God’s final touch, his pièce
de résistance. She fills a place in the world nothing and
no one else can fill.***
(Captivating
– Chapter Two: What Eve Alone Can Tell, p.26)
…so let that sink in, that amazing story of how our God, our Creator
designed us. You, men, you are the TRIUMPH OF GOD’S HANDIWORK; and us ladies,
we are the CROWNING GLORY OF CREATION. Amazing kayo no… our God is amazing.
Among all
the other created beings we are set apart, (because?) We are
created in God’s image. (Gen. 1:27) “So,
God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him, male and
female he created them.”
Men &
Women were created in the image of God as MEN and as WOMEN. Now we know that
God doesn’t have a
physical
body, so the uniqueness can’t be physical.Our gender (defined
as the traits that is associated to our being male or female), must be at the level of the soul, in the deep and everlasting
places within us. In each of us, there is a masculine heart and a feminine
heart, which in their own ways reflect or
portray to the world God’s heart.
[WE ARE
IMAGE BEARERS.]
II. The
Masculine and the Feminine Heart
So let us
now look into our hearts, the masculine and feminine heart that we each have so
we can discover how we bear God’s image…and in knowing that we would learn more
about His heart, and the more we know Him the more we can love Him… and it
follows that the more we love God, the more also that we can love our brothers
and sisters in the Lord.
It is said
that in our hearts, there lies our desires. And these desires is our guide our
clues to who we really are and what God’s purpose for our lives is. The verse
in Proverbs 4:23 comes to mind, ingon didto: Above
all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life. (other
version says: “for everything you do flows from it…”, “for it determines the course of your life…”, “because they are the
source of true life.”) Daghan man ta
desires, mga shallow or deep, or unsa ba diha… But if we look deeply enough, in
God’s light, we might discover that the root of our every desire is God-given.
These desires define us – and since we are imagebearers of our Creator, also
reveals who God really is. The desires of our hearts reveal the desires
of God’s heart for us.
In each of
our hearts, masculine & feminine hearts, there are three core desires that
have been true ever since we were little boys & girls. They are different
but they’re meant to complement. What are these desires?
€Y Desires of the Masculine Heart:
1. A Battle to
Fight
2. An Adventure
to Live
3. A Beauty to
Rescue
~GOD speaks
through our brothers that He will come through – His strength can be
depended on. Psalm 62:11-12 One
thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and
that you O Lord, are
loving.
1. A Battle to
Fight
Why a
battle to fight? Because this desire was rooted when the first man was born
into this world. Yes, Adamwas created in Eden, in Paradise. But before that,
something else has already happened: a rebellion, a coup de ta. Lucifer, the
villain like in any movie, tried to take the throne of heaven by force, for
that he was thrown down fromthe presence of God but were not destroyed, the
battle is not over yet. So Man is actually born in a world at war. A man must
have a battle to fight, a great mission to his life. And you all do – you have
been given a cause to which you need to be devoted to even unto death. Because
God created you to be his ally, to join him in the Great Battle. There is a
role, a mission God made you for. You are a HERO, that’s why the desire is
there. Every man needs to know that
he is
powerful. There is something fierce in the heart of every man.
2. An Adventure
to Live
This should
be the most obvious. What was God’s task for Adam? Adam and all his sons after
him are given an incredible mission: rule and subdue, be fruitful and multiply.
So the whole world, the whole universe, is a great big adventure to be
experienced, to be lived. To which areas your heart and passion takes you to:
sports, business, music… that is your adventure! You were made to explore,
build, conquer. A man is not a man when he is just doing nothing with his life
– that is not what God meant for him to be. There is something wild in the
heart of every man. A wildness that longs for risk and danger, adventure! Not
just for “fun” or for “pogi points” or “astig points”. It is because adventure
requires something in you, puts you to the test. You want to know you have what
it takes.
3. A Beauty to
Rescue
And lastly,
why does Adam, and every man need a beauty to rescue? Simply, because there is
Eve. He is going to need her and she is going to need him. A man wants to be a
hero to the beauty. (imagine the movies without the leading ladies). It’s not
enough just to be a hero, it’s being a hero to someone in particular, to the
woman he loves.
Y Desires of the Feminine
Heart:
1. To Be
Romanced
2. An
Irreplaceable Role in a Great Adventure
3. A Beauty to
Unveil
~God
is captivating us – He wants to
be loved, to be wanted, to share in our life. He waits for us to just come to Him, spend time with him and adore Him
- for all that he is doing and wants to do in our lives. He is saying
that he is all that we’ll ever
need, we just need to seek him and pursue him. He is inviting us into Him.
1. To be
ROMANCED.
*Kinsa
ganahan ug books diri? movies? or series? Unsa man ang pinaka common theme:
ROMANCE.* Do you ever wonder why us girls love
ROMANCE so much? Ever since we were little girls, the kinds of stories we’ve always loved is all about a beautiful Princess and there’s
always a Prince who’s in love with her. We all wanted to be the heroine in those stories and have the hero come for us. We
simply love to feel wanted and fought for. This desire is
set deep within the heart of every little girl – of every woman. We all long for romance, to be seen
and desired, to be sought after and fought for. When we were young, we want to be precious to someone – especially sa
atong Papa, to our fathers. As we grow older, the
desire matures into a longing to be pursued, desired, wanted as a woman.
~What does
this say about the God whose image we bear? God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. All throughout history, starting
sa Eden, sa mga Israelites, hantod karon, God’s cry is “Why
won’t you choose me?” Our God, the Master of all universe, wants to be romanced – want us to
pursue him, to really want to be with him. *quote from Bible* Ingon pa niya sa Jeremiah 29:13 “You will find me
when you seek me with all your heart.”
Tozer also said that “God waits
to be wanted.”
2. An
Irreplaceable Role in a Great Adventure.
*Do you
believe that there is something fierce in the heart of a woman?...
A woman is
a warrior, too. She is meant to be a warrior in a uniquely feminine
way. Most of us sense
that we have a vital role to play, we believe that there is something in us
that is needed and needed desperately – maybe before we started to doubt ourselves,
before the accusations or rejections or our many insecurities had taken hold. We
might have once believed – truly believed – that we can do great and amazing
things. Balik ta sa mga salida, sa mga books or stories that we like, we always
feel good when we watch a character na bayi who is strong, courageous,
passionate – a powerful woman. We want to be like them, to experience their
lives…
We love
adventures of all sorts. (Sa ako ra, maconsider jud nako nga
adventure ang shopping! What else?) We are not
content na wala ta’y buhaton sa atong life… whether it’s the adventure of
travelling to a new place, or working at a new job, starting a new hobby,
performing on stage, or when we think about the adventure of having children
someday, or going into missions or taking on a ministry – we come alive at
these moments because were made to be a part of a great adventure. BUT, dili ta
ganahan na kita ra, na we’re on our own on these adventures. We
want an
adventure that is shared. Our desire for
great things is not just for the sake of it, adventure for adventure’s sake...
but what drives us is what it requires of us for others. We love the feeling that we are doing something that is needed, that
we are important. We don’t want to be alone in it, we
want to be in it WITH others. Our lives
were meant to be lived with others. [Relational to the core – echoes of the
Trinity, made in the image of a perfect relationship.]
We are
filled with the longing to be an irreplaceable part of a shared adventure.
~In this we
see that God also want not merely an adventure, but an adventure to share. He
didn’t have to make us, humans, but he wanted to. God delights in being a part
of our lives. His heart is for relationship, for shared adventure – WITH US.
3. A BEAUTY to
unveil.
*Raise
of hands sa mga Princesses: who really believes that she is beautiful? (By what
standards…) The desire to be beautiful is an ageless
longing. It’s NOT just the desire for an outward beauty – but MORE – a desire to be
captivating in the depths of who we are. A woman wants to be seen and to be thought of as captivating.
We desire to possess a beauty that is
worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want a beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be
felt; beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil. We’ve all suffered in some way in pursuit of
beauty, or what we perceive beauty is as set by the world. To women everywhere struggles with the issue of beauty. So
why so much heartache over beauty? It’s not the same
about wanting to be a genius or a real good volleyball player. There’s nothing
that compares to the heartaches that beauty costs us throughout our years (from
teasing as a little girl, to hormonal problems of puberty, to diets and
everything else.) It is because in our heart of hearts, down in our soul, we
all long to bring beauty to the world. This is not just about culture or social
expectations, or influence by the media, or wanting to get a boyfriend… This is
in our heart, part of our design. Every woman has a beauty to unveil. Because
we bear the image of God. A woman doesn’t have to conjure beauty – get it from
a salon, surgery or implants. No, beauty is an essence that is given to every woman at her creation.
~Through
our feminine hearts we’ll discover that God is relational to his core, that he
has a heart for romance. Second, that he longs to share adventures with us-
adventures that we cannot accomplish without him. And God wants us to know that
He has a beauty to unveil – a beauty that is captivating and powerfully
redemptive.
III. The Question
of our Hearts
s{Do
I have what it takes?}
With MEN,
it’s all about STRENGTH, in proving that yes, they have what it takes. And as
much as you guys long to prove yourself, to test your strength against forces,
that much too is the fear na: dili di ay, dili di ay makaya. So what happens to most guys is that dili na lang sila mag-risk.
They won’t offer they strength anymore para safe na dili mareveal
that they don’t
have real strength. Or, it could go the other way, that they would use the
strength that they have too much – to show everyone jud na “Laki ko bay!” –
strength gone bad: nahimo nang violent, na maka-hurt na. And there are those
who are posers, who just puts out the front that they are strong, but when the
time comes na
kinahanglan
na ang ilang strength, they actually have nothing to offer. So, what happened
to the TRIUPMH OF GOD’S CREATION, how have they become passive/violent/cowardly
men? -- Because of SIN. Adam, our father, fell (*when the serpent was tempting
Eve, Adam was just there, but he did NOTHING. He did not do what he was made to
do – to offer help, his strength to Eve. He didn’t risk, he didn’t fight, he
didn’t rescue Eve. That started it all – Adam going against his design - and
all of humanity, all of Adam’s son followed through. Now instead of being
assured that they have STRENGTH – strength that men have because they were made
after a strong, powerful God – they are doubtful. The passed on sins and
mistreatments, from fathers, from families, from friends, from girls in your
life – again and again, the question might have been markedly answered as “No,
you don’t have what it takes to do what you have to do when it counts?” or it
might have been dismissed, left unanswered for so long. And also, the biggest
enemy is the Deceiver – spouting his lies that you don’t have strength. He is
desperate to convince our men because he knows that if, WHEN, they find out
they’re real strength – that magnificent power they have in being son of God –
then for sure, mudaghan jud ug mukusog ang iyang kontra. The resistance to his
plans will be that much stronger… So how do you guys find the answer to your question,
where will you find the real strength that you have lost? Certainly not to
Eve…because naa pud siyaunanswered question in her heart….
s{Am I lovely?}
Kung sa mga
laki it’s all about strength, to women it’s all about BEAUTY. That is the
essence of a woman. It is the way that God draws us to him, through beauty. Beauty is powerful, it speaks, invites, nourishes, comforts,
inspires, beauty is transcendent. In our world that is full of turmoil &
ugly things, beauty is God’s way of saying that “It’s
all right, it’s gonna be okay.” The world was created as a bounty of beauty, and so are we… Remember,
we are the CROWNING GLORY OF CREATION. Nganong karon it’s s hard for us to
believe that we are beauty, mas dali ta magtoo sa mga insecurities, sa
inferiority complex… What went wrong? Let’s go back again to Eden and that day
that the serpent tempted Eve. Imagine that God has given to them paradise, everything and anything they could ever need or want. And what’s
more, God was with them. It was the perfect life, as in literal. Pero why was
it na dali ra jud natempt ng Serpent si Eve when he said that God didn’t want
them to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil kay God was
keeping something from them. In Eve’s mind, nitoo siya na God was not giving
her everything she needs. Eve actually believed that the wonderful and
extravagant God who made them and everything wonderful around, was holding out
on them. That’s why she took matters into her own hands and in that moment, she
surrendered her beauty – a beauty that comes from within a heart that is at
rest, at peace. Not grasping or striving or trying too hard. That is now our
problem – in many different ways, we try too hard to be beautiful instead of
just being beautiful. That’s why in our hearts we are always asking if we are
lovely, are we worthy of being loved? And sadly, the answer more often is that
no, you’re not, or you’re not enough, you’re not worthy to be called beautiful.
And so we
try harder, it’s either by being too needy and clingy – desperate for attention
and love; or by brushing it off all together saying it doesn’t really matter to
us, we don’t need anyone. Our world has turned beauty into some kind of elusive
prize, but in truth it is our essence, it is what we are made of. We just kind
of forgot. So how do we get it back? For sure, though you won’t think
otherwise, it’s not to Adam, it’s not from the opposite sex our answer can be
found.
IV. Wounded…and
then Healing Comes
So it’s
been many years since Adam & Eve but the curse is still with us. Our
glorious hearts is now wounded – our masculinity and femininity is [confusing].
Guys no longer really believe that they have the strength, and us girls cannot
really imagine that we are beautiful. Satan is doing well in his mission. And
the saddest part is that our church, the body of Christ, kita – as brothers
& sisters in the Lord, is not doing everything we can to help bring back to
our brethren & sisteren what they have lost, what all of us are seeking.
Sometimes pa nga, we add to the wounds –
by our words, our actions or worse by just doing nothing - our indifference,
our passivity cause a big hurt, too. Now I should tell you that the answers to
our questions, the satisfaction of our desires could only be fully answered and
fulfilled by God and with God. (We don’t have enough time to discuss that
kay bug-at bug-at to nga topic, so I’m really
hoping that you would read these books because here you’ll know how or where to
start.) But what I wanted to emphasize karon is
our roles – our responsibilities to our fellow believers in bringing healing
and restoration, in showing and giving true, selfless love that will truly have
a big impact on how each of our hearts will be made whole again. I don’t know
if you’ve realized how we are truly blessed to belong to the family of God, to
have each other as brothers and sisters, because here is where supposedly we
can find healing, comfort, peace, mercy and grace, unconditional acceptance and
appreciation – all good things that is so hard to get from the world. Here – we
are God’s kingdom here on earth. But if we really try to assess our
relationships… are we doing any differently from the world? The world is
judgmental, condemning, unkind and selfish, accusing, deceiving and many other
things. Are we being the same to our brothers and sisters? Kung dili man jud
ana ka-worse, are doing the things we are supposed to be doing - offer
encouragement, assurance, support, selfless love? Naa ko nabasahan na post in
one of my fave blog, about PURPOSEFUL RELATIONSHIPS, ingon sa author:
I think
relationships and friendships are important. It’s great to have people to spend
time with, to laugh with, and to cry with. But to be honest, if the
relationships you have in your life are just there to make you feel less lonely
and to give you something to do on a Friday night, they’re pointless and aren’t
true friendships. If you, as a friend, are not pushing people
to do
better, to be better, and to grow closer to God, you’re failing as a friend. If
you’re friends are not pushing you to do better, to be better and to grow closer
to God, they’re failing you as a friend. Are we
failing as a friend, as a brother or sister in Christ? Sa uban, dili man jud
maingon na failing, but are we doing the
best we can? Remember ang greatest commandment…
Love
the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your
mind and with all your strength… LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF.
It is also
written: Love is the fulfillment of the law. Before anything else, we should love, before giving, before evangelizing,
before discipleship… because tanan na xa and many more, cannot be done and
shouldn’t be done without love. Unsa’y ingon sa favorite na I Corinthians 13, but
if I have not love, I am nothing. Let
no debt remain outstanding, except the debt to love one another… (Romans 13:8) In other words, a Christian should never fall
short, and so be "in debt," in loving others.
V. Comrades
& Brethren in Arms / Sisters & Companions for Life
So, lastly,
last point na jud ni… is that we must wake up if we have been sleeping and
“failing” or not doing the best we can in fulfilling God’s commandment to LOVE
ONE ANOTHER. Or worse if we have been doing the opposite of love one another as
yourself. AS YOURSELF – meaning what you would want, that’s what you would
give. Most of the time selfish kaayo ta, so let’s turn that selfishness as
somehow clue on how to be selfless. Kung unsa ang mga pinakaganahan nimo for
you, that what you should start doing for others. We all have our love
languages, i-discover niyo yun. And most importantly, as men and women, as
Heroes and Princesses, let us be deliberate in showing love – now that we know
how each of us are created uniquely masculine or uniquely feminine, let us
address the way we show love according to the need of our brothers or our
sisters:
So let me give you some tips and ways on
how to love a brother or sister in the Lord. (keyword: brother & sister!)
1. As a
Brother to a Sister:
Guys,
firstly, just offer your strength. In any way you can, in little ways –
pag-open sa door or pag-carry samga stuff, or in big ways – pag take sa
leadership, pag carry ng responsibility. OFFER YOUR STRENGTH, because we need
you. I’m not saying na women are weak na dili namo kaya magabre sa pintuan, but
your strength – what only you can give – is needed. In our personal lives (as a
friend/brother), sa ministry: you have a role to play and we need you to come
through.
“Nothing is
so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.” I love that quote
from St. Frances de Sales because it’s so true. So guys, literally and
figuratively, please be gentle – with your words, your actions. Kay dago jud
ang impact ng close influence ng men sa usa ka-bayi. It starts with our
Fathers, then brothers, then friends… the way you treat us, the words you say,
will greatly affect our life in someway. So significant jud na maging gentle
mo. Especially sa words…
And
speaking of words, we need you to speak up! Most guys jud ay unexpressive… (but
since dili man ni about sa marriage pa or even sa romantic context) it’s not necessary
na i-pour out jud ninyo inyong
feelings or
whatever, but there would be times na we would need that, for you to speak up
as a brother as a guy friend.
2. A s a
Sister to a Brother:
We should
always show our CARE. There’s a part sa book, sa Captivating, that really
struck me. It said there na not all of us, as of now, are mothers, but we are
all called to mother (verb). It is our
calling as a woman: to mother is to encourage, to nurture the people in our
lives toward their true selves. We can do this in many ways – just by
listening, giving advice if needed, and offering help and encouragement. We
mother each other when we offer our concern, our
care, our comfort. We mother each other when we see a need and rise to meet it… So in
short, as sisters, let us mother our brothers because we their sisters in
Christ.
Allow them
the freedom to be boys. Ayaw na pirmi na lang ta KJ. Let them have their
adventures, indulge them, mas maayo, join them in their adventures!
Don’t try
to be everything to them. As girls, we tend to overdo or be uber helpful na
akuiin na natin
tanan… Let
us always encourage and push our guys into greatness – closer to God, closer to
being who
they were
destined to be.
3. As Bro
to Bro
You are comrades in
this battle. Ayaw mo magpa-macho macho kaayo na dili na ninyo kinahanglan ug
others. You will need someone as you are in a battle, a battle for your
strength and your destiny. Sabi pa ni John Eldredge sa book: We need
fellow warriors, someone to fight alongside, someone to watch our back… Yes, we
need men to whom we can bare our souls. You guys need trustworthy friends /brothers on your side. Like Jesus
Christ, he had the 12 as his close company and good friends, but among them
were those three men (Peter and the sons of Zebedee, James & John) with
whom He connected with on a whole different level. Those were the ones Jesus opened
up to more. Those three were the ones who Jesus told, “My soul
is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of
death” (Mark 14:34) and wanted them to pray with
Him. So pray for each other, open up your problems. Practice tough love when
it’s needed. And share your joy, too. Just don’t be too introverted as most
guys tend to
do, open up
yourself to others. You just don’t know, pareho ra diay mo ug problema, or ikaw
jud ang gamiton ng Ginoo to provide the right answers. Ayaw mo kahadlok mag-emo
emo, that’s not a slight to your masculinity kay kabalo na ta tanan what real
strength is diba. I’ve said this before, “Divide the sorrows and multiply the
joy.”
4. As
Girlfriends and Sisters
No one does that
better, ang pag-divide ug multiply ng news about life, kwentuhan, chikahan,
tabian, besides girlfriends. It’s a great blessing to have wonderful women
friendships. Sabi ni Stasi, The gift of friendship among women is a treasure not to be taken lightly. Women friends
become the face of God to one another – the face of grace, of delight, of mercy. But
friendship among women is also complicated and unpredictable, so you have to be
strong when trials come to test your friendships. I’ll continue from the book: Friendships
need to be nurtured and guarded
and fought for. We need to call one another without waiting to be called first.
We need o ask how our friends
are doing and really listen to their answers. Listen between the lines. (*this
happens*) We love our friends
by
pursuing them – calls, little presents, cards, invitations to go out… We offer
our hearts.
There’s so
much more, but I’ll pray that the Holy Spirit will really be the one to move us
and convict us to be sincere, steadfast in doing what the Lord commanded us, to
love one another selflessly. He will be the one to reveal to us our wrong
actions, our hurtful words, our indifference towards our fellow brothers and
sisters… and in His guidance and leading we will really be able to love each
other the way Jesus loved us. And let us be vigilant in prayer and always watchful
because the Enemy is working against us, too. Dili jud na siya musugot that we
will be able to fulfill the law in the way we love, that we will be stronger in
our faith as we all grow closer to God, that our defense against him will bstrengthened…
but in God’s mighty power, in His grace and mercy, we are already victorious.
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